pondering

I sit and think of the ways that we let ourselves go. We quit doing some things, or caring about things we used to find important, and wonder what happened. I look back at how I was, and then I guess I got lazy in everything. The physical is what everyone sees, but how do we change back? What is the defining moment that kicks us in the but, and makes us CARE again? I saw a photo, of what I had become, and it hit me hard. I guess that if it is just in the mirror, we can pretend it isn't true. Between that, and someone not believing the picture on the wall was me at 19, I knew it was time. I have worked hard to change the physical aspect, and found myself beginning to care about the other aspects too. My interests became important again, and so did my house and family. As I become more aware of myself, I wonder if I am becoming vain, but realize that I am learning to respect myself. I think trhat is the key. If we respected ourselves in the first place, would we let ourselves go? I am thrilled to report that, while I was 217lbs a year and a half ago, I have managed to lose much of my excess weight. I am now 159lbs, and have only 4lbs to go to reach my goal (Family pictures being taken tomorrow, and anxious to compare with the one from two years ago). It has been a journey of self discovery. I am finding that some interests have resurfaced, and some are completely gone. The neat thing is the ones that I never knew existed. I have also found out what a strong and determined person I can be. It leaves me to ponder the kind of person I may yet become.